The Healthy and Unhealthy Masculine and Feminine: An Easy Guide
Whether you are in a Male or Female body, you carry both Masculine and Feminine energy.
What we see in our current society is a lot of unhealthy Masculine and Feminine energy. The unhealthy energies are what we are taught through the education system, it's how our economical structures and government systems run, it's also a result of the lack of teachings that exist on healthy relationships and love and also because of what we inherit from our parents who also weren't taught otherwise.
Who is the Unhealthy Masculine?
Competitive; constantly striving and wants to win
Attached to success; focused on goals
Cold and distant; avoids connection
Contracting; takes everything personally
Needing to be right; blames, shames, tames
Afraid of failure; defends himself, attacks, accuses
An under connector; can’t ask for what he needs or show emotion
Moving away from love; runs away, withdraws, creates separation
A bully/aggressive; critical, condoning, condemning
Narcissistic; selfishness, motivated by power
Apathetic; no interest or concern about others
Mr Fix It; can’t really listen, stuck in the mind
Reactive; selects, distorts, provokes
Bypassing the emotional body; with addictions- work, drugs, alcohol, tv, other worlds
Stuck in the mind; unable to be present with what is
Living with an unhealthy internal feminine; serious, rigid, controlling
Who is the Unhealthy Feminine?
Insecure; seeks outside validation
Critical; her loved ones can’t do anything right
Needy; "please love me"
Projecting; her emotional body blows up in chaos
Manipulative; she covertly works towards getting what she wants
Afraid of loss; pulls on love, has insecure attachment
Over connects; always talking about her emotions and what she needs
Chasing love; obsessive, her actions are directed towards keeping her man
A victim; runs a poor me story
Self sacrificing; she prioritises others at the expense of self
A care taker; she's more concerned on others’ happiness than her own
Inauthentic; the outside doesn’t match the inside
Desperate; tries to find safety outside herself
Flooded by her emotional body; cannot raise energy into heart and third eye
Stuck in the feeling realm; unable to be rational and witness
Unhealthy internal masculine; she has no boundaries or self control
Who is the Healthy Feminine?
Is grounded; receptive, reflective, has strong boundaries and gracious strength
Is compassionate; loving, understanding, empathetic, caring and supportive
Asks for what she needs; she expresses her needs from a place of self-love and self-worth
Is vulnerable: she expresses authentically from her heart without shame
Vibrates with energy and sound; she turns heads just by being her, she is confident and moves intuitively
Shares her strong wisdom; she shares valuable lessons from experience and from the heart
Flows; she's surrendered, trusting, flexible, open
Is playful; she's expressive, joyful, fun, light, sensual, affectionate, loves to love
Creates/Births; new beginnings, sound, art, dance, touch, manifesting power
Is authentic; she knows who she is and isn’t afraid to be that with everyone
Manifests and generates; growth, change, transformation
Connects and weaves; family, tribe, sisterhood, support
Trusts her intuition; over the mind
Attunes; to people and situations
Who is the Healthy Masculine?
Holds space; is present with and allowing of whatever arises
Witnesses without judgement; acknowledges, validates, sees beyond the story
Creates safety; is deeply present without a goal
Responds rather than reacts; has learnt to not take things personally
Holds stillness and silence; reflective, internal, peaceful, grounded
Guides; supportive, encouraging, clear reflection
Disciplines; Father energy, focused, certain
Is present; listens deeply, not distracted or thinking about what to say
Knows Death; Faces fear, transcendent, stable, solid
Has truth/integrity; committed to personal truth, not swayed by others
Is doing from a place of being; more like New Zealand than New York
Is of service; asks what is in the interest of the highest good
Seeks mentoring; he is humble
Has awareness; he observes beyond what meets the eye
When we are radically brave enough to let go of the outer masculine and allow the inner masculine to rise, a feminine who is no longer wounded can awaken. She looks out into the world with new eyes; eyes that see the world not from the lenses of seeking love, but from the lenses of knowing. A knowing that courses through the cosmos and earth and streams into her veins. She is seeing that there is really no rest for the feminine with the broken-open heart, for she never knows when love will need her. And she is willing to keep loving, to keep breaking open, not only to put an end to her own suffering but to help put an end to the suffering in others.
When our feminine is held by the healthy masculine inside of us, who commits to loving her no matter what, she finally feels the safety she needs to grow up and see the world from eyes that know it is all a big fucking illusion. Love is the only thing that is real. And then, the feminine is free! In my personal and professional experience, what I have noticed is that when the Healthy Masculine is cultivated in a woman, her Healthy Mature Feminine blossoms and rises.
What happens when we have an inner Healthy Masculine and Healthy Feminine?
You can expand into wholeness, united, as a Sovereign being. The more you integrate, the more beautiful life becomes; the more you integrate, the more love showers on you.. It becomes more colorful, more alive, more rewarding. The ordinary world suddenly starts changing into something extraordinary. The mundane becomes the sacred.